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It used to be kind of a community holiday, but now people are saying that you can’t display a creche on public property and it’s politically incorrect to wish people “Merry Christmas.” It’s gotta be “Happy Holidays” if you don’t want to piss somebody off.I’m not religious, God knows, but the whole thing started as a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. I mean, even if you don’t believe in Jesus Christ or even believe that such a man ever existed. According to the dictionary, the holiday was called Cristes mæsse in Old English and cristmasse in Middle English, and now is Christmas. What it means is “Mass of Christ.” That seems pretty damn clear to me. If we can’t call the Mass of Christ what it is, well, can you imagine saying to the Jews, “Hey, you guys can’t say ‘Hanukkah’ right out loud any more—and you can’t light any candles, either?” Don’t even think about Ramadan.I do remember the anticipation of Christmas as a kid. The newspaper had a little box down in the right hand. When she stood up, she had cleavage bursting out of her neckline, so she casually stuffed her gigantic knockers back inside her top. She smiled. “I’m sorry Tony, but all of our military history books were checked out earlier today during the girls’ tour, but I believe the young woman who checked them out is still in the library reading them.”Tony didn’t care. The alarm rang marking 10 o’clock, which was supposed to be when the days’ session started. “Play time is over, kids,” Miss Nakamura said with a wink. “Now go try to learn something. I’ll be happy to help you with any big words or complicated ideas as long as you are genuinely interested in learning.”The rest of the kids ran off to grab books off the shelves, but I went right to that little Asian minx to let her know I was picking up what she was putting out. I decided to get right to the point. “You got some serious curves for a Chinese girl,” I said.“I’m Japanese,” she said, “but only in the genetic sense. I was born in.
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It’s only recently gone with a lot NLP treatment, you now, Neuro Linguistic Programming. It’s been awful growing up. Girls laughing at me when I approach them to ask them out and them telling their friends about it so they can all laugh.” I knew Jay would relate to this. Her brother had a stammer for many years and she told me how lonely it was for him. Very few friends but a lot of teasing and unfriendly comments.“But you can’t go around touching woman up.” I said. “You could get banged up for that and put on the sex register for life.”“I know, I know,” the man answered looking down and, I think, close to tears. “It’s wrong. So very, very wrong. I’ve tried to ask so many girls out over the years growing up, but the stammer always made me sound like I was, well, you know, special. The girls took the piss by stammering back and called me nasty names. It was horrible. Even though I have conquered it now, I’ve given up trying. The closest I can get to a woman now is a discrete touch. I.

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